Saturday, 30 June 2012

Oh, how my life has changed!

Hello everyone

Well we are heading into week 5 of Michelle Bridges 12WBT, tomorrow Monday 2nd of July 2012.

This weight loss journey has truly taken me on a ride, experiencing some highs, lows & a whole lot more.  When I made the decision to do this, I knew mentally I was ready, physically I needed to do it & emotionally I knew I was going to be having some deep realization moments.  With that being said you are never prepared as you think you are when you begin a new way to live, because that's what I am doing, not a new quick fix lets lose some weight & I will see if I can keep it off.  2012 was going to be all about me & changing my habits for the better & for GOOD!!!!!  Don't get me wrong, I had the mind set ready, the determination rearing & plenty of inspiration to get me going, my mind was made up & I wasn't going to chuck it all in after the first small bump that was going to come my way, HELL NO.  I knew there were going to be many small bumps & some HUGE ASS mountains I was going to have climb to get where I was to be.

After 5 1/2 months I am over halfway through my weight loss journey & I have come a long way, but I still have a lot of hard work ahead of me & much more that I want to achieve.  My exercising feels like it's a habit now not an effort my food however is still an area where much more work is needed.  For some reason I keep using my old ways to cope with issues in life, old ways being lets eat our emotions lets comfort myself with a treat or two.  Who cares if i'm not hungry or it's a band aid for the real reason that needs to be dealt with,  lets do what we have always done & leave it at that.  I must admit I have improve on how much I do scoff into my gob when using old ways to deal with pain or frustration.  I will say to myself well it's no where near as bad as I once was, what am trying to do.  YES reason with myself by making myself believe it's ok because it's still better then I once was.  SHIT have I not learnt anything, FOOD will never be the right answer.  The right answer is to understand why I am doing what I do, why I feel that's the only way to deal with situations where I feel lost, confused, hurt.  FOOD has always been my comfort companion, I do feel a little lost without my food friend, but it's time to get hard with myself & face my fears, face my demons & face reality.

So the past couple of weeks, I have had a few health hurdles.  Terrible throbbing headache, a sore back after putting it out mildly & now I am down with the flu :(  Yes shitty time, but no time for a self pity party.  Just a part of life, we will incur sickness & injuries along the way.  Usually this is a time where I would fall off the wagon when I have a number of health issues happening at once, though this time I am viewing it with eyes wide open & know it's just small time frame in the big picture.  These things will not get me down & I will not fall back into old patterns & use this as an EXCUSE to give it.  Six months ago I would have been oh well can't do anything at the moment, don't want to make things worse, better rest & just wait till I am 100%, this could well be 2 weeks as I always wanted to be safe & overly cautious.  However this time, I took a day of for my headache, I took 2 days off for my back & I am using today as a rest day for my flu & might even have tomorrow off too.  That's it though, last week I had signed up to a new gym called Tauranga Strength & Conditioning, this was a new challenge for me where I would be pushing myself in a new way & I was all pumped for it.  So you can imagine my misery after doing my back in last weekend & having to miss my 1st class on Monday at 5.30am, went to the Osteopath on Monday she seemed to help & I started to do my exercises that she gave me & just did light lifting & careful moving.  My Osteopath told me to have the week off but I thought hmmm I will see how I go, the old me would have said oh I better take the week off then.  Wednesday I was at my 5.30am class & just did what I could, I went again on Thursday & Friday at 5.30am & then again Saturday at 7am.  Plus I did my usual Mount session after my class on Friday.  I started with a sore throat on Thursday morning but went down hill Saturday afternoon, yes I think my body is telling me to rest, so I am listening to it but I am not going to use these reasons to hold me back any longer then they need to.  It's AMAZING what you are actually capable of doing when you stop using excuses.

This is what I am happiest about the most, my new attitude, my new determination, my new lease on life & most of all my new positive mind frame.  In the past making EXCUSES has never been a problem & most of all it's never bothered me that I was an EXCUSE queen.  Now though I don't want EXCUSES to be a part of my life & I do not want them to stop me from living my life.  Don't get me wrong if I really need to rest because I am exhausted I will, i'm not going to be much help if I push myself beyond my limits, but I also know my limits are much bigger then I give myself credit for.  I think excuses for me was a way of hiding, just in case I failed with what I wanted to achieved, using sickness or injury as my cover story.  Honestly who was I failing though, no one but my own expectations.  So I was being my own worst enemy, the fact is these days I think just getting out there & giving something a go & if you come, 1st, 10th or last it doesn't matter, the only thing that matters is that you got out there & gave it a go & did your best.  This should be your only expectation of yourself to try things out of your comfort zone & give it 100%, FEAR is crippling sometimes & I have allowed that to hinder me too many times but not anymore.  FEAR is my friend, because it's making me realize I am stronger & much more capable of doing more then I have ever thought possible, I am being a willing participant in my own LIFE & it feels bloody awesome.

Just wanted to share with you some photos of my journey so far.  I haven't shared this blog apart from private groups but now I am going to share this on my page for the 1st time on Facebook, that's another step towards not being scared of who I was & who I have become.  I am proud to be ME & I am embracing life with both arms giving it a BIG hug of gratefulness :)

Me at my heaviest on my 35th birthday party 01.07.11,  97.7kgs 
(was so close to that dreaded 3 digit number)

Here I am at 92.7kgs 05.01.12 (thinking I was looking ok, if I hid under loose tops etc...)

Here I am on the official start of Michelle Bridges 12WBT Round 1 13.02.12 at 87.4kgs

This was taken on 29.06.12, I am wearing size 12 & weighing 78.4kgs 
I have also lost a total of 126.5cms all over.

So I am wanting to lose at least another 13.4kgs & I may go for more, I am just going after small goals at a time & I hope to be at my goal weight by 16th of Dec 2012 & ROCKING my new look for Xmas & NYE!

Thanks for reading my blog & here's to creating the LIFE I deserve, why don't you join me & create the life you deserve, it's a much better way to live :)

Sunday, 17 June 2012

Week 3 :)

So can't believe we are already in Week 3 of 12WBT program, it's been awesome so far!

In 2 weeks I have managed to lose 1.3kgs so far & I am crossing fingers I can make that more with the next weigh in on Wednesday, total weight loss is 19kgs so close to the 20kg mark.  I have always struggled with the food side of things & it's my aim to improve on this area in this round, I have not been the greatest I can say however I have made some small improvements on it & I can only get better.  Upping my exercise has been easy & I am loving pushing myself more in this area.

19 kilograms = 41.8878298 pounds

I meet the lovely Kimberly Hammond around a month ago, Kimberly is a newbie to Michelle Bridges 12WBT & has joined the Kiwi support group on Facebook.  We hit it off & have meet up a couple of times, Kimberly introduced me to my 1st PT (personal training) Session & my body ached the next day & the day after that,  I woke up muscles that obviously been sleeping for sometime & felt soreness & pain in a new way the crazy thing is I LOVED feeling that.  It made me realized I needed to do this more & keep working these lazy muscles & make them stronger.  So I would like to THANK Kimberly for taking me to my 1st class & I am pumped to do my 2nd session this coming Saturday :)  I can only do every 2nd Saturday due to work commitments but I will increase my sessions once I get a routine sorted & the weather is a bit warmer, it's hard to exercise outside in this cold, but I am pushing through it & continuing on with me exercise nothing is going to stop me getting the body I want!

I made the decision last week that I am going to use my Monday's & Fridays plus my day off in the weekend as my days to burn 1000 calories, I have Zumba on Wednesday & then I try to do a couple of small walks or DVD's on another 2 days.  My aim is to exercise 5 days a week this suits me more, if I get to do 6 that's just a bonus :)

I made a goal of walking/jogging 150kms for the month of June & I have already completed 92kms only 58kms to go, not a problem, going to power out some decent kms this coming Friday & Saturday.

Today I achieved another mini goal, I have been trying to walk up the Mount, down & around once in under 1 hour for a little while now but haven't really pushed myself to do this, the closest I got was 1hour & 2mins but my average is 1hour & 8mins, today however with the help of my friend Kylie I finally did it YAY, my official time was 58mins & 41secs, so pretty happy about that.  These are only small goals but they make me remember & realize how far I have come & what I can do when I set my mind to do so.

My next decent challenge has been set & paid for my Tough Guy/Tough Gal Challenge on Saturday 4th of August 2012 in Rotorua, NZ I am doing this with a few friends & we are doing the 6km event, I am super excited about it & looking forward to seeing what I am made of again in a different way.  This is a completely cold & muddy event usually & I am a bit of a girlie girl so I am going out of my comfort zone with this one, but you know what I don't care I will have myself a concrete pill & just harden up for it :)

So that's it for me now, thanks for reading my blog & remember I am Creating the LIFE I deserve!