Hi Everyone
Again I have allowed months to slide by before making another entry, have had so many changes in my personal life some great & others not so great. I have also given in to my old ways by allowing some of these changes to be my ultimate excuse for falling off the wagon. Been avoiding my support pages & my blog as it's a place of honesty for me & I wasn't ready to be honest & i'm not sure if I am yet either but I will try & use this as my stepping stone. My fave quote when I haven't really given my 100% or done what I had said or planned on doing, I will say well baby steps is better then nothing, like i'm giving myself permission for me slack in attempt of an effort.
My happy & FAB news is that we have shifted into our new home, our own very 1st home, hubby & I are so excited & overjoyed that we have our own home!!!! Hubby has been great & making our home look better & improving it for us making it ours more & more, I actually helped this weekend with the outside area too with water blasting the fence & concrete areas & then staining the fence. We almost got it all done but ran out of stain so just a little bit at the back remains to be done. We are both happy just staying at home on the weekends now coz we want to put any extra $$$ back into the house, pity this money thing holds up all our creative ideas. I will continue to work hard as will hubby to make the $$$, just to improve our chances I will also continue to by our weekly lotto ticket you have to be in to win & never say never :)
Some sad news is that by beloved Nana passed away on Feb 13th 2013 after being with us for nearly 96 years, she would have turned 96 on June 2nd. Nana was a very special lady & was loved by many, she had a wonderful life & gave us so many happy memories & I was blessed to have had her for as long as I did.
Due to Nana passing some family issues were also had, this was to be expected, coming from a large family where some saw things very differently to others. Hurtful things were said & done which cannot be taken back & this saddens me more as through this I have lost one of my closest friends who was also my cousin, with all that we have been through I was surprised to find this was to eventually pull us apart. Without going into too much detail what really gets to me is that not one person has come to my mother or myself or anyone from my side of the family to ask us what happened, they have been told one side of a story from people who hold grudges towards my mother & from what I see that has been held as truth to everyone. Pity we weren't in court at least then we could tell our side of things. All I can say is from where I sit this is all do with greed, grudges & years of resentful feelings. RIP my beautiful Nana, your memory will live on in our hearts & you will never be forgotten. I wish we could have given you the send off you deserved & I wish everyone was able to say a farewell to you as we had wanted but things were out of our hands, love you xo
So since the passing of my Nana, I have struggled with emotions through missing her but mainly from how things were dealt with & I need to work through it as I am using my old trusty, faithful friend FOOD to cope with it all & it's NOT good & NOT how I want to deal with it all!!!!
WARNING GRAPHIC CONTENT MAY OFFEND - I have gained 4kgs now since my lowest weight, though I know my current weight isn't really an honest weight as I also have trouble with going to the loo on a regular basis, coming up to 5 days today since I last went. Over the last 6 weeks or so my tummy issues have come back in full swing, I have had tummy problems for years but it's on & off. I have never had the pleasure of being a regular person when it comes to bowel motions so I am always jealous when I hear of people that have no trouble in that department. Been watching Dr Oz which I must say has been interesting learning things as he was covering the issues that I am going through right at this moment, so perfect timing. Have taken notes & I have also booked in to see a specialist at Health 2000 but there's a waiting period for that & my appointment is not till Friday 10th of May. So I will start helping myself with my food diary with writing what I eat down each day, how much water I drink each day & when I suffer my tummy cramps. Another thing I will concentrate on it eliminating certain foods & trying to eat certain foods to see if that makes a difference. My aim is to be pro-active when it comes this area, as I cannot go on any longer with this pain, I am suffering physically, emotionally & mentally & I can't go on like this anymore. At the moment I am relying on little pills to help me go once a week & it is playing havoc with my tummy & I would not like to know how much damage I am causing my insides by doing this. So cross fingers for some answers soon & an improvement much sooner!!!
The other thing I wanted to touch base on was my last entry, well I was told by a few some had taken offence to what I had written about. I was even deleted by a person on Facebook after them reading my blog. In fairness my last blog was not aimed at that one person who did delete me but she did inspire the blog a wee bit. My response to people were offended, why are you offended? The only reason I feel someone would be offended by it, is because they feel guilty about something towards me or about how they are living their life. I decided to have a good clean out on my Facebook friends, trying to keep my life more private still it's pretty hard to be too cut throat but I have managed to get it down to 202, still too many but over 100 people gone. Ha ha suppose it's funny that I am trying to be more private on Facebook when I have a blog available to any Tom, Dick & Harry to read, but i'm ok with it all :) I have gotten rid of the negative energy that was poisoning my life & thoughts & I feel I am slowly getting back to a happier place, it all takes time.
So to end today's blog, I would like to remind everyone some things, things that I am needing to be reminded of myself.
1: Live your life by truth, no matter how good you think you are hiding your secrets or living your double life, the truth always comes to light.
2: Remember when you judge others you are opening the door into your own life, make sure it's perfect, otherwise Karma is a bitch!
3: Say what you mean & mean what you say.
4: True friends love you for your good & bad qualities. (This is where I am grateful for my life long friends, the ones that have known me for years & have never left my side.)
5: Love yourself, be kind to yourself & always be honest to yourself.
6: Remember we create our own happiness, so always remember what you are worth.
7: Life is to be lived, so do it with enjoyment.
8: A smile really can go a long way.
9: At the end of each day, look at what you are grateful for.
10: Only you have the power to be who you want to be, so make it happen!!!
Thanks again for taking the time to read my blog, sorry for all the dribble but I always feel so much better after writing my blog, so I need to share my feelings more it helps me with my journey.
Sunday 14 April 2013
Sunday 6 January 2013
Guess who's back!!!
Oh WOW, I didn't realize that my last entry was that long ago, 4 1/2 months, JEEPERS!!!
I decided to start blogging again, I am hoping this may help keep me on track & encourage me to let go of feelings that keep creeping up on me. Sharing or off loading, either way I need to stop carrying around these extra feelings of worrying & being concern of what others think!!!
So 2012 I didn't complete all my goals that I had planned, mainly being losing all the weight that I had wanted to lose. I can say however I did manage to lose 23kgs in total from my heaviest weight, my heaviest being Jan 2011 - 99.7kgs, so the lowest I got was 76.4kgs last year. If you don't mind me saying I am pretty BLOODY happy with that effort, that's a lot of emotional baggage I worked through but my journey isn't over, far from it.
So today Monday 7th of Jan 2013 - my weight starts at 78.4kgs, so a gain of 2kgs from my lowest weight, so not too bad. My goal to reach 65kgs by my 37th birthday on 26th July, my goal weight has never been to get as small as I can but to reach a healthy weight that I can maintain for the rest of my life, it's a realistic weight goal :) Have seen to many people get hang up on this number on the scale thing & myself included, I do admit I weigh myself pretty much every morning & I know I can hear you all you say DON'T do that, why do you do that for etc... For me it actually helps to keep me in check, make sure I am not wondering off the track too much, if I see I am going up too much I will pull my head in & start being better with eating or exercising whatever needs to be concentrated on.
In a group that I am with on Facebook, called Just Do It, which was created by my cousin for people that are like minded & needing to be inspired or encouraged with their weight loss or exercise goals, I found my a challenge for 2013. Last year I wanted to do a 1/2 marathon, but never really trained or pushed myself to do it. I did however complete other goals that I wanted to do :) So Tina Flack a member in this group has suggested for us to do the Taupo 1/2 Marathon this year, so that is my big exercise challenge. I will register as a runner purely so if I want to walk/run I can, however I am going to try my hardest to complete it by doing a jog. To honest I don't care how I complete it as long as I complete it, that's really my goal!!!
So last year 2012 was all about me tackling my weight loss goals & being a better me, by spending more time on myself instead of always focusing on others. So this year 2013, I will continue with that work, but I also want to be a better Wife & Mum. To be fair having done last year & doing a year where I was more focused on myself has actually enabled me to be a better Wife & Mum because I am happier within myself then I was when I was overweight. However I want to spend more time with my family & loved ones, the kids are growing up too fast & I want to savior more moments together, create more memories together as a family.
Hubby & I have never been stronger & more happier then we are today, which I LOVE!!! We have some big goals for 2013, one of then being finding our first home together. We got pre-approved last year 2 months ago & are trying to keep it on the down low, but I have trouble sharing happy news, in the words of my hubby I have a big mouth ha ha ha :) So if you are learning about this for the time it's not been that I haven't wanted to tell you, hubby said not to put it on Facebook. So this particular blog will only be shared in private groups. It's fun house hunting, but when you have a budget you have to stick too, it's hard, especially when the area you want to live in isn't the cheapest compared to other areas. All good I know we will find the perfect house for us :)
The other goal I need to work on, is forgetting about what people think of me. I have a pretty positive, bubbly personality & I always like to see the good in people. Unfortunately that has hurt me in the pass, so it has made me more cautious about people. In this world we will always have people who will sit on their perches judging others & looking down on us. Those people are not people I want in my life anyway & to be fair a lot of the time those people have far to many issues of their own that they need to make themselves feel better by being like that. Otherwise they would need to look in the mirror & see who they really are & face some truths, so majority of them don't & focus on putting down others. I have had a life-time of being bullied, especially by girls & on the most part it's jealously which creates this. My life has not been a bed or roses, so I am proud of who I am & where I am in life, yes their are things I am not proud of in my past, but those experiences has help mold me into the person I am today. I am over people being FAKE & INSINCERE, if you actually want to be part of my life be involved with genuine intentions. If not don't pretend to care, be true to yourself.
I will continue to be grateful for my wonderful life & all the amazing things I get to have in life, because my life really has been enriched since learning to be grateful for what I have. I will continue to take one step at a time in my personal journey of bettering myself as a person, wife & mum & I will learn to let go of things that aren't worth me worrying about.
Time is precious & we must spend our time with who we love & what we love doing!!!
I decided to start blogging again, I am hoping this may help keep me on track & encourage me to let go of feelings that keep creeping up on me. Sharing or off loading, either way I need to stop carrying around these extra feelings of worrying & being concern of what others think!!!
So 2012 I didn't complete all my goals that I had planned, mainly being losing all the weight that I had wanted to lose. I can say however I did manage to lose 23kgs in total from my heaviest weight, my heaviest being Jan 2011 - 99.7kgs, so the lowest I got was 76.4kgs last year. If you don't mind me saying I am pretty BLOODY happy with that effort, that's a lot of emotional baggage I worked through but my journey isn't over, far from it.
So today Monday 7th of Jan 2013 - my weight starts at 78.4kgs, so a gain of 2kgs from my lowest weight, so not too bad. My goal to reach 65kgs by my 37th birthday on 26th July, my goal weight has never been to get as small as I can but to reach a healthy weight that I can maintain for the rest of my life, it's a realistic weight goal :) Have seen to many people get hang up on this number on the scale thing & myself included, I do admit I weigh myself pretty much every morning & I know I can hear you all you say DON'T do that, why do you do that for etc... For me it actually helps to keep me in check, make sure I am not wondering off the track too much, if I see I am going up too much I will pull my head in & start being better with eating or exercising whatever needs to be concentrated on.
In a group that I am with on Facebook, called Just Do It, which was created by my cousin for people that are like minded & needing to be inspired or encouraged with their weight loss or exercise goals, I found my a challenge for 2013. Last year I wanted to do a 1/2 marathon, but never really trained or pushed myself to do it. I did however complete other goals that I wanted to do :) So Tina Flack a member in this group has suggested for us to do the Taupo 1/2 Marathon this year, so that is my big exercise challenge. I will register as a runner purely so if I want to walk/run I can, however I am going to try my hardest to complete it by doing a jog. To honest I don't care how I complete it as long as I complete it, that's really my goal!!!
So last year 2012 was all about me tackling my weight loss goals & being a better me, by spending more time on myself instead of always focusing on others. So this year 2013, I will continue with that work, but I also want to be a better Wife & Mum. To be fair having done last year & doing a year where I was more focused on myself has actually enabled me to be a better Wife & Mum because I am happier within myself then I was when I was overweight. However I want to spend more time with my family & loved ones, the kids are growing up too fast & I want to savior more moments together, create more memories together as a family.
Hubby & I have never been stronger & more happier then we are today, which I LOVE!!! We have some big goals for 2013, one of then being finding our first home together. We got pre-approved last year 2 months ago & are trying to keep it on the down low, but I have trouble sharing happy news, in the words of my hubby I have a big mouth ha ha ha :) So if you are learning about this for the time it's not been that I haven't wanted to tell you, hubby said not to put it on Facebook. So this particular blog will only be shared in private groups. It's fun house hunting, but when you have a budget you have to stick too, it's hard, especially when the area you want to live in isn't the cheapest compared to other areas. All good I know we will find the perfect house for us :)
The other goal I need to work on, is forgetting about what people think of me. I have a pretty positive, bubbly personality & I always like to see the good in people. Unfortunately that has hurt me in the pass, so it has made me more cautious about people. In this world we will always have people who will sit on their perches judging others & looking down on us. Those people are not people I want in my life anyway & to be fair a lot of the time those people have far to many issues of their own that they need to make themselves feel better by being like that. Otherwise they would need to look in the mirror & see who they really are & face some truths, so majority of them don't & focus on putting down others. I have had a life-time of being bullied, especially by girls & on the most part it's jealously which creates this. My life has not been a bed or roses, so I am proud of who I am & where I am in life, yes their are things I am not proud of in my past, but those experiences has help mold me into the person I am today. I am over people being FAKE & INSINCERE, if you actually want to be part of my life be involved with genuine intentions. If not don't pretend to care, be true to yourself.
I will continue to be grateful for my wonderful life & all the amazing things I get to have in life, because my life really has been enriched since learning to be grateful for what I have. I will continue to take one step at a time in my personal journey of bettering myself as a person, wife & mum & I will learn to let go of things that aren't worth me worrying about.
Time is precious & we must spend our time with who we love & what we love doing!!!
Sunday 19 August 2012
Hello :)
Well it seems to be once a month I make an entry, so a bit to catch you up on.
So my last post was about "Old Me" visiting etc... I really thought if I shared with you all my thoughts & made a confession on how I was slipping up but getting onto it ASAP it would stop me from continuing to self sabotage. Short story is "Old Me" stayed for a longer visit then intended :( It really surprises me how fast old habits & bad habits at that, creep back in & it seems so easy to fall back into routines that will destroy all my hard work.
WHY??? It's the same question that always haunts me when I fall off track. Why am I doing this for? Why am I allowing these old habits back in? Why aren't I stronger? Why can't I control myself more? Why, Why, Why!!!
Ok so I have a back injury, I am aware that I made my back worse my continuing on with my Gym work-outs involving weights, not good. An excuse to make me feel better for falling off the wagon, it's not my fault, it can't be helped I have to take it easy, yeah yeah... The thing is I have an injury, so I need to work around it & and adjust my work-outs to what I can do & manage. Instead I used it as a "Get Out Free Jail Card" & took a long rest break.
In total I had around 4 to 5 weeks off from my normal exercise plan & did maybe 2 or 3 days a week of light exercise & nothing more. Over this time frame I also laxed on my eating, though I must be honest the eating side has never been my strong point anyway, still very much a work in progress. I kept justifying it to myself with well at least i'm not gaining, it's just that I wasn't losing really either.
Round 2 of Michelle Bridges has been a complete FAILURE!!! Ok so not a total complete failure I am 2.5kgs lighter then when I started, but that is a MASSIVE let down to what I had wanted to achieve.
Thankfully in the last week I have managed to find my mojo & get back into some good power walking with my girlfriend Ange. My friend Ange is a like an energizer bunny, on the go all the time & the girl doesn't have a slow mode button, she's my little speed demon friend who helps me to up my pace & I LOVE it!
Now that I have unloaded & yet again made a confession of my sins, it's time to get my butt moving & start dropping some more weight. How am I going to do that, by not using EXCUSES, by flexing my WILL POWER MUSCLE & by DETERMINATION, that's how I started this weight loss thing & that's how I am going to continue on with it.
Each day we make decisions in how we want our life to be, some days we are on fire other days you just want to go back to bed so the next day can begin. Me, well I have decided if it's a good day YAY, but if it's a bad day, I can always change that day & make it better. Yes we have the power to make life the way we want it to be, we just need to find the courage to do it & believe we can. I love to dream, but I also love making those dreams come true & I am already on my way :)
On Saturday 4th of August 2012 I completed the Tough Guy/Tough Gal Challenge, with my friends, Bronya, Kim & my little sister Alyssha, we ROCKED it & LOVED every minute doing it. We are all pumped to do it again next year, hopefully with a few more friends & we have decided we will dress up for it too.
Well it seems to be once a month I make an entry, so a bit to catch you up on.
So my last post was about "Old Me" visiting etc... I really thought if I shared with you all my thoughts & made a confession on how I was slipping up but getting onto it ASAP it would stop me from continuing to self sabotage. Short story is "Old Me" stayed for a longer visit then intended :( It really surprises me how fast old habits & bad habits at that, creep back in & it seems so easy to fall back into routines that will destroy all my hard work.
WHY??? It's the same question that always haunts me when I fall off track. Why am I doing this for? Why am I allowing these old habits back in? Why aren't I stronger? Why can't I control myself more? Why, Why, Why!!!
Ok so I have a back injury, I am aware that I made my back worse my continuing on with my Gym work-outs involving weights, not good. An excuse to make me feel better for falling off the wagon, it's not my fault, it can't be helped I have to take it easy, yeah yeah... The thing is I have an injury, so I need to work around it & and adjust my work-outs to what I can do & manage. Instead I used it as a "Get Out Free Jail Card" & took a long rest break.
In total I had around 4 to 5 weeks off from my normal exercise plan & did maybe 2 or 3 days a week of light exercise & nothing more. Over this time frame I also laxed on my eating, though I must be honest the eating side has never been my strong point anyway, still very much a work in progress. I kept justifying it to myself with well at least i'm not gaining, it's just that I wasn't losing really either.
Round 2 of Michelle Bridges has been a complete FAILURE!!! Ok so not a total complete failure I am 2.5kgs lighter then when I started, but that is a MASSIVE let down to what I had wanted to achieve.
Thankfully in the last week I have managed to find my mojo & get back into some good power walking with my girlfriend Ange. My friend Ange is a like an energizer bunny, on the go all the time & the girl doesn't have a slow mode button, she's my little speed demon friend who helps me to up my pace & I LOVE it!
Now that I have unloaded & yet again made a confession of my sins, it's time to get my butt moving & start dropping some more weight. How am I going to do that, by not using EXCUSES, by flexing my WILL POWER MUSCLE & by DETERMINATION, that's how I started this weight loss thing & that's how I am going to continue on with it.
Each day we make decisions in how we want our life to be, some days we are on fire other days you just want to go back to bed so the next day can begin. Me, well I have decided if it's a good day YAY, but if it's a bad day, I can always change that day & make it better. Yes we have the power to make life the way we want it to be, we just need to find the courage to do it & believe we can. I love to dream, but I also love making those dreams come true & I am already on my way :)
Then on Saturday 18th of August 2012 I completed the Adrenalin Forest, a High Ropes Course with my friend Bronya. We did up to Pathway 4, so 4/6 not bad for someone who has a fear of heights. Again we are looking at doing this again with more people & we are going to tackle Pathway 5 :)
So with admitting how naughty I have been with my training & eating, the only person I am letting down is myself. Then I also remember what I have achieved & how far I have come, the above challenges that I committed to & completed is something the "Old Me" would have never done & being 20kgs heavier this time last year something I couldn't have done. In the end I had a slip now I am back on track, I want to THANK myself for making the positive changes that I have & celebrate all these wonderful goals that I am making happen for ME today!
Another dream I am making happen, is that hubby & I started a savings plan for our trip to Europe in 10 years. I think it's nice to have something to look forward too & it's going to be so much fun planning our time away. In 10 years the kids will be older & Marshall & I will be ready & deserving of a long break away :)
Thanks for reading my blog & remember it's all about Creating the LIFE I deserve, so create yours today too!!!
Thursday 19 July 2012
Oops "OLD ME" came to visit!!!!
So I am writing this to say it out loud, to admit to my relapse, to face my demons, to confront the ugly truth, yes I think you get the idea. It's CONFESSION TIME!!!
The thing is my confession isn't a huge relapse or a big slip, but it's been enough to SCARE me & for me to know that I need to NIP it in the butt NOW! When it comes to exercise I have that down to a tee & I LOVE it more then I thought was ever possible, realizing that I have more courage then I thought I had in me to try new things, to explore areas out of my comfort zone, to push myself beyond the limit I thought I was capable of.
My downfall is the "F" word, yes I know I have already admitted to letting FOOD win it's wicked ways with me, but the last few weeks I have been allowing it to creep more & more back into my mouth. I am aware that I control what my hand feeds my mouth but I am not sure if it's winter or that I have got comfortable with where I am at or that I am struggling to get my next weight loss phase to start??? Actually to be honest all those reasons play a part in the way I have been & now I just have to OWN it & MOVE on. Being down on myself about the matter isn't going to do any good it's only going to create more weakness for the "OLD ME" to play on. With that being said I REFUSE to let that happen.
I have an AMAZING support system around me with my hubby, friends, family & the new gym that I am with. There really isn't any reason for me to feel like I am alone, so why am I behaving like I am??? You see food use to be my comfort friend for when I felt alone, for when I felt like no-one else would understand what I was feeling. I would consume food & let it push down those feelings that I wasn't ready to deal with, cover up the real issue, force feed my denial literally. All that ever did was mask my pain with more layers of FAT to carry on my body, that isn't healthy either. So these days I may see the old habits move back in on a very temporary basis, the difference is my eyes are more open, the "NEW ME" knows to grab the emotion that I am feeling & to deal with it.
Nothing in life is easy, otherwise we wouldn't need to have our vices our little bad habits to get us through the day & so on. Life is all about self discovery, learning how to cope with dramas of all kinds, teaching ourselves to understand that we aren't perfect but we are human. I have learnt that I need to be kind to myself, to acknowledge my downfalls but to focus on how far I have come more then anything to remember the achievements I have completed in the last 6 months.
Now that I have shared my little slip in the road, the "NEW ME" will take back the POWER!
6 months ago, I wouldn't have believed that I could lose 20.2kgs, that I could run a 5km Fun Run, that I would be getting up at 5.30am each morning to do my work-out & that walking up The Mount would be one of my favourite pass times.
Being blessed to live in such a beautiful part of the world, truly is a gift. Today I got to enjoy some of that beauty while I walked the Papamoa Hills with my friend Bronya. Together we have decided to always do one event each month, this can be a paid & organized event or something we make up. These are some of our goals to complete by the end of the year.
August Saturday 4th, Tough Guy/ Tough Gal Challenge in Rotorua.
August Saturday 18th, Adrenlin Forrest, Pyes Pa, Tauranga.
September Saturday 15th, A "BIG" Mount Session, made up by us.
October Saturday 27th & Sunday 28th, The Pinnacles Walk, Coromandal.
November Sunday 25th a 10km Fun Run, Tauranga.
Looking at that list I am pretty happy I have so much to look forward too & to work towards, it's exciting!!!
I could ramble on for ages about so many things but time does not allow it, but I have shared the part that I needed to share the most & I thank you for being there for me to do so.
Thanks again for reading my post & remember it's all about Creating the LIFE I deserve ;)
The thing is my confession isn't a huge relapse or a big slip, but it's been enough to SCARE me & for me to know that I need to NIP it in the butt NOW! When it comes to exercise I have that down to a tee & I LOVE it more then I thought was ever possible, realizing that I have more courage then I thought I had in me to try new things, to explore areas out of my comfort zone, to push myself beyond the limit I thought I was capable of.
My downfall is the "F" word, yes I know I have already admitted to letting FOOD win it's wicked ways with me, but the last few weeks I have been allowing it to creep more & more back into my mouth. I am aware that I control what my hand feeds my mouth but I am not sure if it's winter or that I have got comfortable with where I am at or that I am struggling to get my next weight loss phase to start??? Actually to be honest all those reasons play a part in the way I have been & now I just have to OWN it & MOVE on. Being down on myself about the matter isn't going to do any good it's only going to create more weakness for the "OLD ME" to play on. With that being said I REFUSE to let that happen.
I have an AMAZING support system around me with my hubby, friends, family & the new gym that I am with. There really isn't any reason for me to feel like I am alone, so why am I behaving like I am??? You see food use to be my comfort friend for when I felt alone, for when I felt like no-one else would understand what I was feeling. I would consume food & let it push down those feelings that I wasn't ready to deal with, cover up the real issue, force feed my denial literally. All that ever did was mask my pain with more layers of FAT to carry on my body, that isn't healthy either. So these days I may see the old habits move back in on a very temporary basis, the difference is my eyes are more open, the "NEW ME" knows to grab the emotion that I am feeling & to deal with it.
Nothing in life is easy, otherwise we wouldn't need to have our vices our little bad habits to get us through the day & so on. Life is all about self discovery, learning how to cope with dramas of all kinds, teaching ourselves to understand that we aren't perfect but we are human. I have learnt that I need to be kind to myself, to acknowledge my downfalls but to focus on how far I have come more then anything to remember the achievements I have completed in the last 6 months.
Now that I have shared my little slip in the road, the "NEW ME" will take back the POWER!
6 months ago, I wouldn't have believed that I could lose 20.2kgs, that I could run a 5km Fun Run, that I would be getting up at 5.30am each morning to do my work-out & that walking up The Mount would be one of my favourite pass times.
A view of the Mount in the distance taken from the Papamoa Hills.
Being blessed to live in such a beautiful part of the world, truly is a gift. Today I got to enjoy some of that beauty while I walked the Papamoa Hills with my friend Bronya. Together we have decided to always do one event each month, this can be a paid & organized event or something we make up. These are some of our goals to complete by the end of the year.
August Saturday 4th, Tough Guy/ Tough Gal Challenge in Rotorua.
August Saturday 18th, Adrenlin Forrest, Pyes Pa, Tauranga.
September Saturday 15th, A "BIG" Mount Session, made up by us.
October Saturday 27th & Sunday 28th, The Pinnacles Walk, Coromandal.
November Sunday 25th a 10km Fun Run, Tauranga.
Looking at that list I am pretty happy I have so much to look forward too & to work towards, it's exciting!!!
I could ramble on for ages about so many things but time does not allow it, but I have shared the part that I needed to share the most & I thank you for being there for me to do so.
Thanks again for reading my post & remember it's all about Creating the LIFE I deserve ;)
Saturday 30 June 2012
Oh, how my life has changed!
Hello everyone
Well we are heading into week 5 of Michelle Bridges 12WBT, tomorrow Monday 2nd of July 2012.
This weight loss journey has truly taken me on a ride, experiencing some highs, lows & a whole lot more. When I made the decision to do this, I knew mentally I was ready, physically I needed to do it & emotionally I knew I was going to be having some deep realization moments. With that being said you are never prepared as you think you are when you begin a new way to live, because that's what I am doing, not a new quick fix lets lose some weight & I will see if I can keep it off. 2012 was going to be all about me & changing my habits for the better & for GOOD!!!!! Don't get me wrong, I had the mind set ready, the determination rearing & plenty of inspiration to get me going, my mind was made up & I wasn't going to chuck it all in after the first small bump that was going to come my way, HELL NO. I knew there were going to be many small bumps & some HUGE ASS mountains I was going to have climb to get where I was to be.
After 5 1/2 months I am over halfway through my weight loss journey & I have come a long way, but I still have a lot of hard work ahead of me & much more that I want to achieve. My exercising feels like it's a habit now not an effort my food however is still an area where much more work is needed. For some reason I keep using my old ways to cope with issues in life, old ways being lets eat our emotions lets comfort myself with a treat or two. Who cares if i'm not hungry or it's a band aid for the real reason that needs to be dealt with, lets do what we have always done & leave it at that. I must admit I have improve on how much I do scoff into my gob when using old ways to deal with pain or frustration. I will say to myself well it's no where near as bad as I once was, what am trying to do. YES reason with myself by making myself believe it's ok because it's still better then I once was. SHIT have I not learnt anything, FOOD will never be the right answer. The right answer is to understand why I am doing what I do, why I feel that's the only way to deal with situations where I feel lost, confused, hurt. FOOD has always been my comfort companion, I do feel a little lost without my food friend, but it's time to get hard with myself & face my fears, face my demons & face reality.
So the past couple of weeks, I have had a few health hurdles. Terrible throbbing headache, a sore back after putting it out mildly & now I am down with the flu :( Yes shitty time, but no time for a self pity party. Just a part of life, we will incur sickness & injuries along the way. Usually this is a time where I would fall off the wagon when I have a number of health issues happening at once, though this time I am viewing it with eyes wide open & know it's just small time frame in the big picture. These things will not get me down & I will not fall back into old patterns & use this as an EXCUSE to give it. Six months ago I would have been oh well can't do anything at the moment, don't want to make things worse, better rest & just wait till I am 100%, this could well be 2 weeks as I always wanted to be safe & overly cautious. However this time, I took a day of for my headache, I took 2 days off for my back & I am using today as a rest day for my flu & might even have tomorrow off too. That's it though, last week I had signed up to a new gym called Tauranga Strength & Conditioning, this was a new challenge for me where I would be pushing myself in a new way & I was all pumped for it. So you can imagine my misery after doing my back in last weekend & having to miss my 1st class on Monday at 5.30am, went to the Osteopath on Monday she seemed to help & I started to do my exercises that she gave me & just did light lifting & careful moving. My Osteopath told me to have the week off but I thought hmmm I will see how I go, the old me would have said oh I better take the week off then. Wednesday I was at my 5.30am class & just did what I could, I went again on Thursday & Friday at 5.30am & then again Saturday at 7am. Plus I did my usual Mount session after my class on Friday. I started with a sore throat on Thursday morning but went down hill Saturday afternoon, yes I think my body is telling me to rest, so I am listening to it but I am not going to use these reasons to hold me back any longer then they need to. It's AMAZING what you are actually capable of doing when you stop using excuses.
This is what I am happiest about the most, my new attitude, my new determination, my new lease on life & most of all my new positive mind frame. In the past making EXCUSES has never been a problem & most of all it's never bothered me that I was an EXCUSE queen. Now though I don't want EXCUSES to be a part of my life & I do not want them to stop me from living my life. Don't get me wrong if I really need to rest because I am exhausted I will, i'm not going to be much help if I push myself beyond my limits, but I also know my limits are much bigger then I give myself credit for. I think excuses for me was a way of hiding, just in case I failed with what I wanted to achieved, using sickness or injury as my cover story. Honestly who was I failing though, no one but my own expectations. So I was being my own worst enemy, the fact is these days I think just getting out there & giving something a go & if you come, 1st, 10th or last it doesn't matter, the only thing that matters is that you got out there & gave it a go & did your best. This should be your only expectation of yourself to try things out of your comfort zone & give it 100%, FEAR is crippling sometimes & I have allowed that to hinder me too many times but not anymore. FEAR is my friend, because it's making me realize I am stronger & much more capable of doing more then I have ever thought possible, I am being a willing participant in my own LIFE & it feels bloody awesome.
Just wanted to share with you some photos of my journey so far. I haven't shared this blog apart from private groups but now I am going to share this on my page for the 1st time on Facebook, that's another step towards not being scared of who I was & who I have become. I am proud to be ME & I am embracing life with both arms giving it a BIG hug of gratefulness :)
Me at my heaviest on my 35th birthday party 01.07.11, 97.7kgs
(was so close to that dreaded 3 digit number)
Here I am at 92.7kgs 05.01.12 (thinking I was looking ok, if I hid under loose tops etc...)
Here I am on the official start of Michelle Bridges 12WBT Round 1 13.02.12 at 87.4kgs
This was taken on 29.06.12, I am wearing size 12 & weighing 78.4kgs
& I have also lost a total of 126.5cms all over.
So I am wanting to lose at least another 13.4kgs & I may go for more, I am just going after small goals at a time & I hope to be at my goal weight by 16th of Dec 2012 & ROCKING my new look for Xmas & NYE!
Thanks for reading my blog & here's to creating the LIFE I deserve, why don't you join me & create the life you deserve, it's a much better way to live :)
Sunday 17 June 2012
Week 3 :)
So can't believe we are already in Week 3 of 12WBT program, it's been awesome so far!
In 2 weeks I have managed to lose 1.3kgs so far & I am crossing fingers I can make that more with the next weigh in on Wednesday, total weight loss is 19kgs so close to the 20kg mark. I have always struggled with the food side of things & it's my aim to improve on this area in this round, I have not been the greatest I can say however I have made some small improvements on it & I can only get better. Upping my exercise has been easy & I am loving pushing myself more in this area.
I meet the lovely Kimberly Hammond around a month ago, Kimberly is a newbie to Michelle Bridges 12WBT & has joined the Kiwi support group on Facebook. We hit it off & have meet up a couple of times, Kimberly introduced me to my 1st PT (personal training) Session & my body ached the next day & the day after that, I woke up muscles that obviously been sleeping for sometime & felt soreness & pain in a new way the crazy thing is I LOVED feeling that. It made me realized I needed to do this more & keep working these lazy muscles & make them stronger. So I would like to THANK Kimberly for taking me to my 1st class & I am pumped to do my 2nd session this coming Saturday :) I can only do every 2nd Saturday due to work commitments but I will increase my sessions once I get a routine sorted & the weather is a bit warmer, it's hard to exercise outside in this cold, but I am pushing through it & continuing on with me exercise nothing is going to stop me getting the body I want!
I made the decision last week that I am going to use my Monday's & Fridays plus my day off in the weekend as my days to burn 1000 calories, I have Zumba on Wednesday & then I try to do a couple of small walks or DVD's on another 2 days. My aim is to exercise 5 days a week this suits me more, if I get to do 6 that's just a bonus :)
I made a goal of walking/jogging 150kms for the month of June & I have already completed 92kms only 58kms to go, not a problem, going to power out some decent kms this coming Friday & Saturday.
Today I achieved another mini goal, I have been trying to walk up the Mount, down & around once in under 1 hour for a little while now but haven't really pushed myself to do this, the closest I got was 1hour & 2mins but my average is 1hour & 8mins, today however with the help of my friend Kylie I finally did it YAY, my official time was 58mins & 41secs, so pretty happy about that. These are only small goals but they make me remember & realize how far I have come & what I can do when I set my mind to do so.
My next decent challenge has been set & paid for my Tough Guy/Tough Gal Challenge on Saturday 4th of August 2012 in Rotorua, NZ I am doing this with a few friends & we are doing the 6km event, I am super excited about it & looking forward to seeing what I am made of again in a different way. This is a completely cold & muddy event usually & I am a bit of a girlie girl so I am going out of my comfort zone with this one, but you know what I don't care I will have myself a concrete pill & just harden up for it :)
So that's it for me now, thanks for reading my blog & remember I am Creating the LIFE I deserve!
In 2 weeks I have managed to lose 1.3kgs so far & I am crossing fingers I can make that more with the next weigh in on Wednesday, total weight loss is 19kgs so close to the 20kg mark. I have always struggled with the food side of things & it's my aim to improve on this area in this round, I have not been the greatest I can say however I have made some small improvements on it & I can only get better. Upping my exercise has been easy & I am loving pushing myself more in this area.
19 kilograms = 41.8878298 pounds
I meet the lovely Kimberly Hammond around a month ago, Kimberly is a newbie to Michelle Bridges 12WBT & has joined the Kiwi support group on Facebook. We hit it off & have meet up a couple of times, Kimberly introduced me to my 1st PT (personal training) Session & my body ached the next day & the day after that, I woke up muscles that obviously been sleeping for sometime & felt soreness & pain in a new way the crazy thing is I LOVED feeling that. It made me realized I needed to do this more & keep working these lazy muscles & make them stronger. So I would like to THANK Kimberly for taking me to my 1st class & I am pumped to do my 2nd session this coming Saturday :) I can only do every 2nd Saturday due to work commitments but I will increase my sessions once I get a routine sorted & the weather is a bit warmer, it's hard to exercise outside in this cold, but I am pushing through it & continuing on with me exercise nothing is going to stop me getting the body I want!
I made the decision last week that I am going to use my Monday's & Fridays plus my day off in the weekend as my days to burn 1000 calories, I have Zumba on Wednesday & then I try to do a couple of small walks or DVD's on another 2 days. My aim is to exercise 5 days a week this suits me more, if I get to do 6 that's just a bonus :)
I made a goal of walking/jogging 150kms for the month of June & I have already completed 92kms only 58kms to go, not a problem, going to power out some decent kms this coming Friday & Saturday.
Today I achieved another mini goal, I have been trying to walk up the Mount, down & around once in under 1 hour for a little while now but haven't really pushed myself to do this, the closest I got was 1hour & 2mins but my average is 1hour & 8mins, today however with the help of my friend Kylie I finally did it YAY, my official time was 58mins & 41secs, so pretty happy about that. These are only small goals but they make me remember & realize how far I have come & what I can do when I set my mind to do so.
My next decent challenge has been set & paid for my Tough Guy/Tough Gal Challenge on Saturday 4th of August 2012 in Rotorua, NZ I am doing this with a few friends & we are doing the 6km event, I am super excited about it & looking forward to seeing what I am made of again in a different way. This is a completely cold & muddy event usually & I am a bit of a girlie girl so I am going out of my comfort zone with this one, but you know what I don't care I will have myself a concrete pill & just harden up for it :)
So that's it for me now, thanks for reading my blog & remember I am Creating the LIFE I deserve!
Sunday 27 May 2012
I'm Back!!!!
Hi Everyone
Well it's been 4 weeks since my last post & lots has happen in that small amount of time :)
So I finished the 12WBT Challenge with a reasonable happy result for myself.
I went to Melbourne on Thursday 17th of May for a girls weekend away with my best mate & cousin Mandy, to celebrate our weight loss & to go to the Finale Party & Group Work-Out.
Was an amazing few days, did a lot of shopping & found some really good buys, which is nothing unusual for me as I like to get the most for my $.
My gorgeous cherry dress that I got for 1/2 price, have always wanted a dress like this, so I am very happy with my purchase!
I also got to be a part of a Guinness Book World Record, for the biggest group work-out total number of people were 1165, Wahoo it was AWESOME to be involved in such a big event & feel the energy from everyone there!
This is me with some of the 12wbt girls, we rocked it out in our work-out!
Me with Michelle Bridges, yes I am a very happy girl getting to get up & close for a photo with Michelle!
Then later that night we partied at the Plaza Ballroom, with wine flowing freely, great night had :) This is me below all dressed up for a night of celebration after losing 12.5kgs during the 1st Round this includes pre-season.
After my few days in Melbourne I came back home all inspired to get back to it & back to my weight loss journey. I heard some fabulous weight loss stories & saw some fantastic results from some ladies. I was like if she can achieve that I can so do it too, had this motivation again, YAY!!!!
I only got through half the week before I felt old habits creeping back in to visit & feeling like oh shit am I strong enough to do this on my own. After talking to hubby & having a small melt down with tears I decided nope I needed the support system of the 12WBT program, as crazy as it sounds adding in my weight each week makes me feel a bit more accountable then just sharing it with my support pages that I am with. My hubby does find it difficult to understand but if I hadn't achieved the results I had on the last round he wouldn't have been supportive of me doing another round. Since I did achieve good results on the last round he was a little more understanding of letting me do it again if it was what I needed to do. So Friday night I signed up for Round 2 on Michelle Bridges 12WBT & I am fully excited about it. I know that on the 1st Round I did not commit to it 100% I did well & I am over the moon with the loss I managed to do with only a half pie commitment. So Round 2 I am ready to SMASH IT!!!!! I am prepared to do what it takes & I am going to challenge myself more too. Even though I am much fitter & healthier then I was before Jan 16th 2012 when started this program there is still so much work to be done to be where I want to be. I have decided to take this fire I have in my belly & to use it 110%, I know I am not perfect & I am only human so I may slip up, but I am determined not to get down on myself but to move on & get straight back on track, plus I am aware life is to be lived I just need to find the balance.
I want to THANK everyone who has inspired me with this journey that I am on & for the wonderful support I have been given & the beautiful words that have been spoken to me & the lovely encouraging comments & compliments that have been said to me through - out the last few months. This really has been an amazing journey & I feel utterly blessed to have meet some gorgeous people through this all. For all the people that have said to me WOW you have lost 18kgs in total since September 2011, you look GREAT what an awesome achievement, I must say THANK - YOU. I know I have trouble accepting these compliments as my 1st reaction is to say oh but I am only half way through my weight lost journey I still have another 18kgs to lose. I know 18kgs lost is nothing to scoff about but something to be proud about & I am, just imagine how proud I am going to be when I get to say I have lost 36kgs, hmmm seems a way off but I know this will be achieved by my date of December 16th 2012, so stayed tuned :)
My next mission is to work through my pre-seasons tasks & complete them all with honesty & commitment.
Thanks again for taking the time to read my blog & remember it's all about Creating the life I deserve :)
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