I'm Back!!!!

Hi Everyone

Well it's been 4 weeks since my last post & lots has happen in that small amount of time :)

So I finished the 12WBT Challenge with a reasonable happy result for myself.

I went to Melbourne on Thursday 17th of May for a girls weekend away with my best mate & cousin Mandy, to celebrate our weight loss & to go to the Finale Party & Group Work-Out.

Was an amazing few days, did a lot of shopping & found some really good buys, which is nothing unusual for me as I like to get the most for my $. 

My gorgeous cherry dress that I got for 1/2 price, have always wanted a dress like this, so I am very happy with my purchase!

I also got to be a part of a Guinness Book World Record, for the biggest group work-out total number of people were 1165, Wahoo it was AWESOME to be involved in such a big event & feel the energy from everyone there!

This is me with some of the 12wbt girls, we rocked it out in our work-out!  

Me with Michelle Bridges, yes I am a very happy girl getting to get up & close for a photo with Michelle!

Then later that night we partied at the Plaza Ballroom, with wine flowing freely, great night had :) This is me below all dressed up for a night of celebration after losing 12.5kgs during the 1st Round this includes pre-season.

After my few days in Melbourne I came back home all inspired to get back to it & back to my weight loss journey.  I heard some fabulous weight loss stories & saw some fantastic results from some ladies.  I was like if she can achieve that I can so do it too, had this motivation again, YAY!!!!

I only got through half the week before I felt old habits creeping back in to visit & feeling like oh shit am I strong enough to do this on my own.  After talking to hubby & having a small melt down with tears I decided nope I needed the support system of the 12WBT program, as crazy as it sounds adding in my weight each week makes me feel a bit more accountable then just sharing it with my support pages that I am with.  My hubby does find it difficult to understand but if I hadn't achieved the results I had on the last round he wouldn't have been supportive of me doing another round.  Since I did achieve good results on the last round he was a little more understanding of letting me do it again if it was what I needed to do.  So Friday night I signed up for Round 2 on Michelle Bridges 12WBT & I am fully excited about it.  I know that on the 1st Round I did not commit to it 100% I did well & I am over the moon with the loss I managed to do with only a half pie commitment.  So Round 2 I am ready to SMASH IT!!!!!  I am prepared to do what it takes & I am going to challenge myself more too.  Even though I am much fitter & healthier then I was before Jan 16th 2012 when  started this program there is still so much work to be done to be where I want to be.  I have decided to take this fire I have in my belly & to use it 110%, I know I am not perfect & I am only human so I may slip up, but I am determined not to get down on myself but to move on & get straight back on track, plus I am aware life is to be lived I just need to find the balance.

I want to THANK everyone who has inspired me with this journey that I am on & for the wonderful support I have been given & the beautiful words that have been spoken to me & the lovely encouraging comments & compliments that have been said to me through - out the last few months.  This really has been an amazing journey & I feel utterly blessed to have meet some gorgeous people through this all.  For all the people that have said to me WOW you have lost 18kgs in total since September 2011, you look GREAT what an awesome achievement, I must say THANK - YOU.  I know I have trouble accepting these compliments as my 1st reaction is to say oh but I am only half way through my weight lost journey I still have another 18kgs to lose.  I know 18kgs lost is nothing to scoff about but something to be proud about & I am, just imagine how proud I am going to be when I get to say I have lost 36kgs, hmmm seems a way off but I know this will be achieved by my date of December 16th 2012, so stayed tuned :)

My next mission is to work through my pre-seasons tasks & complete them all with honesty & commitment.

Thanks again for taking the time to read my blog & remember it's all about Creating the life I deserve :)

Round 1 finished & completed!

So after 16 weeks all up I completed the Michelle Bridges 12 Week Body Transformation, YAY!!!!

What a journey that was, meet some awesome & amazing ladies through this program thanks to some wonderful groups I found on Facebook :)  I achieved some goals, lost some weight & discovered I am stronger & more dedicated than I thought I was.

Ok so the journey is far from over for me & the last 16 weeks didn't happen without some slip ups along the way, but all & all I am happy at how far I have come & know that I can only keep on getting better with each day that passes & that I proceed to continue to live with my new habits as a life style.  This wasn't just for 16 weeks & now I am going back to my old way of living this was a new way for me to live & a much better & happier way for me to live.

So with Round 1 under my belt these are my final results:

Weight Loss Results:
Weight loss from September 2011 = 17.5kgs
Weight loss from 16th Jan 2012 = 12.5kgs
Weight loss from 13th Feb 2012 = 6.8kgs

Centimeters Lost Results:
CM's gone from September 2011 = 108cms
CM's gone from 16th Jan 2012 = 66cms
CM's gone from 13th Feb 2012 = 37cms

Fitness Test Results:
1km Time Trial: Wk1: 7mins & 36secs Wk2: 6mins & 30secs (1min & 6 secs faster)
Wall Sit: Wk1: 24secs Wk2: 2 mins ( 1min & 36secs longer)
Sit & Reach Test: Wk1: +21cms Wk2: +24cms
Push Ups On Toes: Wk1: 0 Wk2: 5 (not my strongest area here)
Push Ups On Knees: Wk1: 26 Wk2: 30 (only a slight improvement, an area I need a lot of work on)
Ab Strength Test:  No change stayed on level 3.

So I made some improvements overall, I can see & feel that I much fitter then I was at the start of the year & my confidence in myself is improving I am feeling a bit more comfortable in my own skin.  I am not where I want to be as of yet but I am on my way & that is something worth smiling about & being proud of.

Too many times we beat ourselves up on what we didn't achieve & how we didn't succeed with the expectations of ourselves.  I have come to understanding that I am not doing that anymore as it isn't productive & it's not helping me to get where I want to go.  I read this quote & it rang truth to me & I when I find myself feeling this way I remember this quote & say it to myself.

It's not that I am unhappy where I am at & it's not that I begrudge the people who are doing well, it's just sometimes I wish I was doing better.  So instead I will remember this quote & remember that we all achieve our goals in our own time & as long as I keep working at it & staying positive I too will get to my ultimate goal :)

I am half way through my weight loss journey, I didn't make the 10kg loss like I had wanted to in the 12 weeks & I didn't get to 79.9kgs on my last weigh in but I did still lose 12.5kgs in 16 weeks & I say CONGRATS to me for that :)

However the day after the last official weigh in day I was 79.9kgs, so I am in the 70's, HOORAY!!!!

I have not signed up for Round 2 as $$$ were a bit short, I do have the tools that I need that I learnt from Michelle Bridges & I have the wonderful support from my groups with the amazing ladies that I was telling you about & I have my inner strength that WANTS ME to succeed, so I think I am prepared & ready to continue with the next phase of my weight loss journey.

Thanks again for taking the time out to read my story & for the lovely support & kinds words that are given & I look forward to sharing more with you as I travel further along my path of Creating the LIFE I deserve :)

P.S. A BIG THANK-YOU TO MICHELLE BRIDGES!!!!!

( Just remember Michelle gave us the push, but we have done the hard work, so remember to thank yourself too)

Week 8 into the 12WBT!

So it's the last day of week 8 for all us 12wbter's & WOW what a trip it has been.  I am constantly surprised at how much things can change in such a short time frame.  My fitness level has improved immensely, my exercise habits are becoming more consistent & my food habits are improving though this is the hardest one that I am struggling with to get under control.

I had my 1st gain last week, I wasn't surprised as it was TTOTM (that time of the month) plus I had been sick the week before & no matter how sick I am I always eat for comfort :(  So I was expecting a gain luckily it was only 0.7kgs so not as bad as I thought it could of been.  I OWN my number & decided fine next week I am going to kick arse :)

I have done some good work out's but I did allow myself a treat or 2, as I think it's unrealistic not to be able to live in the normal world without doing this from time to time.  I do think back & I know how much better I am with my decision making when it comes to food choices & the quantity I am going to allow myself to indulge in.  1 day or 1 night out is NOT going to undo all my HARD WORK, just means I have to work harder after an indulgent time is had & enjoyed.

So the next 3 days I have to give it my all to make sure those scales are nice to me on Wednesday, weigh in day.  I am having a battle with myself you see my next target is to be in the 70's which is so close & I feel like I am self sabotaging myself from getting there.  Only 2.5kgs away from being 79.9kgs, I just need to FOCUS & make this happen & stop telling myself it's too hard coz I know from personal experience this is POSSIBLE & I DESERVE it so why do I keep going up & down when I am so close.  NO more EXCUSES but some BLOODY hard work from ME is needed, so here goes!!!

So i'm in week 8 of the Michelle Bridges 12 Week Body Transformation you need to redo your Fitness Test & I am happy with my results & my improvement, it's really gratifying to see how far I have come in such a short time.  So here are my results :)

1km Time Trial, Wk 1: 7 mins & 36 secs, Wk 8: 6mins & 44 secs, (52 secs faster)
Push Up Test, Wk 1: Toes 0, Knees 26, Wk 8: Toes 5, knees 30.
Abdominal Strength Test, Wk 1: Level 3, Wk 8: Level 3 (remain the same so close to Level 4 though)
Wall Sit, ( I detest this) Wk 1: 24 secs, Wk 8: 1min & 20 secs (56secs longer)
Sit & Reach, Wk 1: +21cm, Wk 8: +24cm (I have always been flexible plus I have short legs)

So when I see my figures in black & white it makes my brain think, I have done pretty DAM good & I need to take some of my praise that I give to others & give myself a BIG pat on the back too.  I am the one making this happen for myself no-one else can take credit for my achievements.  I can THANK people for their inspiration, for the helpful tips they have shared for the encouraging & supportive words they have given me but ultimately I have to THANK myself for making the change & giving myself the LIFE I deserve with the positive attitude that really is needed when embarking on this sort of journey.  The mind is a powerful tool we can either let it hold us back or we can open it up to discover what else we have in ourselves, I know which option I am taking.

Just wanted to share a photo of myself that I got my hubby to take of me, when I was all dressed up ready to go out.  I never get photos of myself but now that I am feeling a bit more comfortable in my skin I want more photos taken to document my journey & my progress to see how far I have come. I am a visual person when it comes to seeing the difference.  This was taken Friday 6th of April, i'm off out to celebrate my friend's birthday.

Current weight 82.4kgs (from last weigh in)

I will let you know how weigh goes for me on Wednesday this week, my aim is to be 77.4kgs by the time I go to Melbourne on May 17th 2012, this will mean that my total weight loss will be at the 20kg mark & I will only be in the overweight range for my BMI currently I am still obese.

Thanks for reading my blog & remember it's all about creating the LIFE I deserve, Happy Easter :)

Finally seeing it for myself, YAY!!!

Hello everyone

So after my very emotional release last week & gaining an understanding about my weight issues, I have lost another 0.9kgs this week :)

Here are my stats:
Since September 2011 I have lost a total of 15kgs & 15.4% percent of my body weight, YAY!
Since January 13th 2012 I have lost 10kgs.
Since February 16th 2012 I have lost 4.8kgs & 5.5% of my body weight.

Now for some before & after photos to show the difference, I apologize now for not smiling, but I am going to make more of an effort from now on to be happy in my photos, lol.

15kgs lost in these photos!

10kgs lost in these photos!

I am 2.5kgs away from being in the 70's again & I can't wait & know I will do this, so roll on 79.9kgs here I come! (oh & when I reach 79.9kgs too I will finally be in the overweight BMI range)   Only another 4.7kgs & I then will have lost 20kgs since the beginning of my weight loss journey.

I went shopping this week & brought 2 items in a size 12, I am still officially a size 14 but I can vary from a 12/14 on the top & I am happy about that.  I also purchased my dress for the Finale Party in Melbourne, can't wait to celebrate with my bestie Mandy Howells who I have done this weight loss journey with.  We may have an ocean between us but we have been there for each other every step of the way, so our reward is going to Melbourne & celebrating with all the other 12WBT people.  Along with Mandy I will also be sharing a special celebration drink & hug with Cass Thurston the amazing lady that inspired me to take this step & try this program, to her I must say a BIG THANK-YOU!

Our tickets have been purchased & our accommodation booked & paid for, so just have to save up for some spending money to be able to buy a few little things for myself.

I am very grateful & thankful for the AWESOME support I have found with the ladies in the Facebook groups that I am with who are also doing the Michelle Bridges 12WBT Program.  Your words of support & advice have meant so much & have been truly appreciated, you have made my journey a lot easier & helped me when I needed it too.  My wise friend Mandy said something today to another lady on 1 of the support pages I am with, there is no limit for that finish line you will reach your finish line when you get there & I WILL!

My life is blessed with so much & I have only enriched my life more by allowing myself to travel this path towards my journey, of Creating the LIFE I deserve.

In memory of Joshua & Samantha Garner ♥♥♥

Hello people

So I had a huge thing happen today, I said it out loud why I am where I am today with my weight & what I used as a reason for allowing myself to get where I was,  to become who I was.

You see I lost my baby brother Joshua & baby sister Samantha in a horrible car accident coming up 4 years on June 15th & July 7th.  Joshua died instantly & Samantha passed away after fighting for 3 weeks, but they were both in the same accident.

Anyway I have been saying it to myself for a couple of weeks but I said it out loud today to 2 different friends & both times I got emotional & as I type this I have tears in my eyes.  After the accident in 2008 I found comfort in food as I usually do & over a 3 year period I gained 20kgs, yip that's right 20 bloody kilos!!!

So my wake up call was when I saw a photo of myself from my 35th birthday in July last year & in September I thought I have to lose this weight, so I began to exercise & cut back on my food intake.  I lost 5kgs but it never went any further then that because I just wasn't fully committed to doing it.  Then my friend Cass discovered the Michelle Bridges 12WBT program & she achieved amazing results which got me interested.  So in Jan 2012 when the pre-season began I started to take things seriously & I made the changes that I needed to make, part of it was because I spent money which I didn't want to be a waste of time doing plus my hubby wouldn't let me live it down if I didn't try my hardest.  I also have a competitive nature & have a few friends doing this program with me & I use that also to push me.  I know we are all in the same boat & wanting the same thing but if they are doing really well I want to be doing the same, so it encourages me to stay on track.

So the big self discovery is that while talking with my friend Bronya today I actually explained something to her that made sense & also helped me to understand why it had been hard for me to lose the weight this time.  You see I was using the food as comfort but I was also using the food as a way to focus on something different, MY WEIGHT!!!  If I got bigger I only had to concentrate on that, with great i'm fat, i'm looking awful, I don't want to go out because I don't want people to see me like this etc...  I am soon realizing though as I am shedding that weight I am also shedding my shield that was hiding my pain, the grief that I was burying away & trying to avoid dealing with.  Yip coming up 4 years & some may say that I should have dealt with my issues surrounding that, but nope I haven't as my focus was on my weight just the way I wanted it to be.

Here I am 14.5kgs lighter & my protective layer is being taken away, so now I have to open up & deal with the grief.  This will sound silly but I feel with every kilo I lose a part of them is disappearing too, which I know isn't true but I hope you understand what I am trying to say.  Now I am completely crying while typing because I am letting go of so much hurt & anger from what was taken from me & my family when I lost my beautiful sister & my wonderful brother.  Life is cruel & things will never be the same, however I am here still alive & I was blessed to have been given Joshua for 24 years & Samantha for 14 years & I wouldn't change a thing about that part.

I am a believer that everything happens for a reason, even though I can't understand the reason behind this.  I can be thankful that Samantha's lungs helped to save 2 kids lives & that Joshua graced us with gorgeous twin boys who remind us every day what a awesome daddy he was & would have been.  Also the area where that accident happened had work done on it pretty much straight away after the accident & what happened to my brother & sister should never happen again as a barrier is now up.  If that barrier had of been there when their accident happened they would still be with us today.  So in the end they have saved other families having to go through what we had to endure of losing our loved ones.

There is always more then just being FAT or overweight, there is always a story to why someone has got to be where they have & my facing up to mine it is allowing me to live the life I should be living & to grieve for my lost loved ones properly.

♥♥♥ RIP Samantha & Joshua ♥♥♥

"I am Creating the LIFE I deserve"

4 Weeks done in the 12WBT!

Wow, 4 weeks into the Michelle Bridges 12 Week Body Transformation Program.

Feeling like the time is flying as we are already into week 5 of the actual program plus we had the 4 weeks on the pre-season, another 8 weeks to go.

Yesterday I had an emotional day, took some photos to compare to my photos from week 1 & I didn't see much of a difference which upset me & put me in a grump for a lot of the day yesterday.  I am a visual person & I have to admit not many people have noticed my weight loss & I have lost 12.5kgs so far & have lost over 81cms off my body.  So some excellent work achieved my ME by doing the hard work.  The one person that keeps telling me how great & sexy I am looking & how I am getting skinnier is my wonderful hubby he really is my best supporter & man I LOVE him for it!

I made up some weight loss jars last week as a way to help me to stay motivated & to watch my weight progress in a visual manner. Have lost 12.5kgs so far & have another 19.7kgs to go to be at my 1st ulitmate goal weight & then I will re-look at it :)

However I am getting lots of people telling me how great I am doing with my exercise & that I am doing so well & to keep it up plus some people have also said that reading my posts is giving them the push that they need to do something about their exercise & weight loss goals, so that's rewarding & humbling to know.  Though I have to tell people there isn't a magic pill doing this for me, it all ME baby, my determination, my hard work, my sweat, my goals & my journey :)

Funny after 35 years here on earth & I am only just realizing that it's TRUE, clean eating & exercise is the key to good health & a great life & the best way to lose unwanted weight!

I completed my 4 week mini goal this morning, I walked around the Mount in beautiful Tauranga, Bay of Plenty (though I must admit it was rain & an overcast day, lol) & then I walked up the Mount twice.  It was hard but not as hard as I had made it in my mind.  Burnt 903 calories, yay! Once upon a time rain would have stopped me from doing exercise outside & would have been an excuse, NOT anymore the new ME doesn't mind a bit of rain because I realized i'm not going to dissolve in the rain, lol, it was actually enjoyable walking  in the rain a little refreshing :)

I have noticed I am much slower then others when it comes to doing certain exercises but I am improving from where I 1st began that's for sure.  I never say I run because I don't I am a slow jogger to say the least if not a shuffle walk at times, but I am moving & it helps to keep my heart rate up :)

If someone was to say to me that I would enjoy jogging one day I would have laughed in their face, but I must admit I find it therapeutic & use it as my "ME TIME" plus it is a great way to let go of stress.

So I have 2 1/2 weeks to get to my next goal weight to be 79.9kgs, so I am looking forward to weigh in on Wednesday because if what I saw on the scales this morning is anything to go by it should be a great loss for me.  Will keep you informed :)

Thanks again for reading my blog & remember I am Creating the LIFE I deserve xo

Another weigh done with the 12WBT!

Hi everyone

So this morning I was up at 6.25am, straight to the loo for my morning pee before I weigh myself, get to the scales & remove my thermal socks & winter Pj's coz every bit helps :)  Yay another 0.5kgs gone!!!!!

So in total my stats are as follows:

Have lost 0.5kgs this week 85.4kgs

Have lost 1.8kgs since 13th Feb 2012

Have lost 7kgs since 16th Jan 2012

Have lost 12kgs since Sept 2011

WHOOP WHOOP!!!

Now for my stats in measurements, coz I was feeling a little down at how slow the weight was going I wanted to see how that was moving along.

Have lost 15cm's since 13th Feb 2012

Have lost 38.5cm's since 16th Jan 2012

Have lost 81 cm's since Sept 2011

Another WHOOP WHOOP!!!

So looking at what I have achieved I should be pretty chuffed at where I have got, but I'm not completely.  I am being a bit silly & playing mind games with myself.  I know I could achieve better results if I work harder & push myself more but I also know that can hinder me & I can derail myself with getting where I want to be.  

My problem is that I am comparing myself to others & seeing the massive results that they are getting & thinking man why aren't I pulling the bigger numbers etc...  This is really stupid but I am going to the Finale Party in May for the Michelle Bridges 12WBT end of Round 1 for 2012 & this is my 1st round & I have given myself till the end of the year to get to my ultimate goal weight. 

This is my reward from my hubby & I am sooooo excited & happy that I get to go but I keep thinking oh great I am going to be the FAT friend still even with my weight loss.  You see I get to share this with 2 of my friends, Cass who is the one who inspired me to join up & do this program after losing 15kgs on the 1 round she did last year Cass is on her 2nd round now.  Mandy is my other close friend/cousin doing it too, Mandy & I are the same weight at the moment but she has a lovely statuesque figure where as I am a shorty, lol. 

I keep telling myself my journey is my journey & no one else's so I shouldn't belittle myself & judge myself on others achievements, my lovely friends have worked hard to get to where they are & deserve the awesome results that they have achieved.  So knowing that I have given myself till 16th Dec 2012 to be at my ultimate goal why am I doing this to myself, because I am impatient & I want it NOW!!!  Another reason I think I am beating myself up about this is that I just saw these friends in early Jan this year & when I see them next I want them to see a difference.  By no means am I jealous in the sense to what they have achieved because I am so happy with the dedication they have given to the program & find them to be so inspiring & I am completely proud of them both & super happy for how far they have come. I could however be jealous that they will be skinnier then me, lol, the evil green eyed monster appearing I think aaarrrggghhhh NO!!!!

In conclusion I have had my rant, tantrum & spat the dummy.  Shared my issues as sharing is always good & realize that nit picking like I am isn't going to get me anywhere it's only going to hurt my journey & sabotage what I have already achieved.  Secretly maybe that's what I want to do sabotage this journey, but you know what that isn't going to happen as I am much stronger then this silly voice in my head that keeps trying to tell me you have done well just be happy to where you have got already.  Not going to happen I CAN & I WILL complete my journey till I get to my ULTIMATE GOAL!!!

For the month of February I made a challenge to walk/jog 100kms, I can happily say that I finished that goal today with my end result being 100.5kms, YAY!!!

I have made my next challenge for the month of March being 150km walk/jog & 300km bike, this sounds huge but when you break it down to 31 days it works out to be 4.8kms for the walk/jog part a day & 9.6kms for the bike ride a day so it's not that scary looking at it like that.  So wish me luck in my March challenge & I will keep you informed in how I am going :)

Anyway thanks for reading my post & allowing me to share my ups & downs.

Remember it's all about Creating the LIFE I deserve!!!